Alright, this is a question I ask my self all the time! "When is it the right time?" I fell like my generation really has it rough... specially if you have or are trying to have a family! With the economy in the toilet, Jobs are not secure at all. You can go from a nice stable income to Monday morning having nothing...
This happened to me and my husband a couple times in the last 3 years. Somehow we always seem to jump back but with times like this I find its hard to figure out when the right time is for anything... How can you plan when your future is so uncertain at any given time. How do you know what is right and what is just a plain mistake?? Anything from; should buy a house now, have another baby, take on another car payment or even something as simple as buying that 200.00 BBQ?
In the last 2-3 months I have pondered every one of those questions I listed above. And you know what.. I bought the new car and the BBQ! haha But, a house or a baby.... I just cant do my normal impulsive decision making on those two...
Part of me goes, "You can do it, you guys can do anything... You did it with baby #1 with out a plan in the world!" Now, while this may be true and I like to think that with a lot of hard work I some how manage to land me and my family back on our feet every time life turns ugly. But, Is it the right time now?
Is there ever a right time? Do you just do it and make do? Is it different when everything is planned (that's how I like my life) Do you listen to other people, Do you care what they think or say? All these questions and I feel none of them have answers!!
Sometimes I forget... I am 25 and my husband 30 we have a beautiful 2 year old baby girl, a house, 2 dogs, a cat, 2 cars, bills ... We are family... WE ARE ADULTS!!! Technically we can do whatever the hell we want to... Why do I forget this so often?
Why do I feel like I still need approval? Is it cause of the way my Emma was a surprise to everyone so I still feel like that scared 22 year old who cared what everyone would think and say? Is it because of things what were said to me when we told some people we were expecting? (after 7 years of dating) I still hold grudges to the few people who disrespected me and my growing family in the early weeks... most of them I have to interact with on a regular basis and its still a struggle. Is that it? Am I so weak that I let some people's rude, unfiltered words effect my judgement in life? How sad and dumb! Am I so insecure that I care that much? Do I feel that I have not proven my/our self? Or, is this just a normal feeling when you are trying to make a life changing decision? ugh
I have no answers to any of these questions and it makes me CRAZY!!
I have always used the saying, "We will cross that bridge when we get there." Is that the right way to deal with things?... seems to have worked out for us so far...
Is that it??? Do you just keeping moving forward and deal with everything as they come and you just adjust? I mean... that's life right?! That's how this silly little game of life works. The only way you move forward in life is to take a jump and hope for the best. If there was a "right time" for everything then everyone's life would be perfect!! No ups, no downs... no sense of accomplishment. I mean who is to say, "You have 20k in the bank... Its the right time for a baby!" "Oh, you have a good paying job (today) its the right time to buy a house!!" I mean common since has a play in it but, to what extent?
As I keep writing it is coming more clear to me that this is indeed life... You make choices, sometimes you have to suffer the consequences of that choice but you move forward and you have another choice to make waiting right around the corner. I'm personally coming to see there is never a right time... and If I try to wait for it, nothing will ever get done!
Take risks, move forward, love and grow... change is the only way that will ever happen!!
I hope you reading this helped you has much as it did me writing it! You can be sure whatever path I choose I will keep you posted via blog!!
Love you for reading!!
Decisions and peace!!
Tam xoxo
I think it's great that you are being so candid with your current life questions. We all struggle with these decisions and im sure everyone can identify with you. I always had a hard time taking advice from other people so I don't blame you if you dont take mine...I am all for you guys having another baby ASAP, but if either one of you are thinking of going back to school to switch directions and get training in something you would be happier with long term- then I suggest doing that before a new baby. You could even get prego toward the end of your schooling so you would have a new baby and new career! Just a thought....:)
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